Are my comrades in the pop-music blogosphere giving due attention to the genius TV event that is Missy Elliott's Road to Stardom? Last night's episode climaxed in a freestyle competition in a Las Vegas boxing ring. Nylene read out Matthew, the blond singer-dancer who has renounced lust in his heart, by saying, "You think you're Timberlake / But you're really Timberfake." Then Deltrice cruised to victory with her soulful sassy comebacks to all challengers — but girl, that attitude of yours is gonna piss off Missy sooner or later. We need a reality show like this devoted to auditions for a major symphony orchestra. Twelve desperate oboists on a bus, hoping for a seat in the Cleveland. Episode 3: Bus pulls up at a Maryland truck stop in the middle of the night. Contestants have to sight-read a new Marc-André Dalbavie concerto in front of an audience of speed-deprived truck drivers, with the Emerson String Quartet adding to the nervous tension by playing random snatches of Shostakovich in the background. Who's going to crack first?
