Soho the Dog, il miglior fabbro, has discovered a very de-luxe item in the Neiman Marcus catalogue: Valery Gergiev and the Mariinsky Orchestra. "Classical music lovers, hold on to your batons. The world-famous Kirov Orchestra. Uber-maestro Valery Gergiev working his Russian magic. Firebrand virtuoso Lola Astanova beating the daylights out of a Steinway® Concert Grand. Performing The Nutcracker Suite, the Tchaikovsky "Piano Concerto," and another Tchaikovsky masterpiece of your choice. In your hometown, at a private holiday concert for you and 499 of your closest friends. Hosted by Regis Philbin! The concert will be filmed as an after-party favor for each of your guests. You even get to keep the tour piano after all the artists autograph it. BRAVO!, if we do say so ourselves. (And we do.)" The whole package costs a mere $1,590,000.00. I hope some megarich wiseass requests Vakula the Smith.